Reflecting

In high school I felt self-conscious of my body, because I had severe scoliosis. I was even forced to wear a back brace. The summer of my junior year of high school I had spinal fusion surgery to fix my curved spine. The surgery had a drastic effect on my body. Firstly, to my delight, the operation left me an inch taller. Secondly, I was also left with an impressive twelve-inch scar on my back. Thirdly, when I returned home from the hospital, I was ten pounds lighter. I didn’t notice that I had lost weight. The first person that commented on my weight loss was a friend’s mother. She simply remarked, “You have lost quite a bit of weight”. However, I interpreted her words as: “You used to be fat”. Over the next year I slowly regained all the weight I shed during my time at the hospital.

I consider the term “athlete” an elusive title reserved for talented kids on sports teams. I did not think I would ever be an athlete, but things changed. I distinctly remember my first run post-surgery. It was immediately after being “cleared” to exercise again from my orthopedic surgeon. It was also around this time of year. Maybe early march, when spring had not yet sprung. I ran for five minutes and came back inside very discouraged. I was out of breath and out of shape. Soon, my pathetic five-minute runs turned into ten-minute runs. Slowly, the ten-minute runs turned into twenty-minute runs. Eventually I started counting miles instead of minutes. During my sophomore year of college ran a 10k race with my sister. I was so unbelievable high off of running after I ran my first 10k. I became addicted to that feeling. You would think that a girl who just completed her third marathon would not hesitate to call herself an athlete, but I do. You know what??? I am a freaking athlete, so screw anyone that looks at me and thinks otherwise.

Anyway, enough reflecting.

Currently, I am having pain in my calf. I don’t know if I should go to the gym, or just rest. I have not been doing much physical activity since the marathon, so I don’t know what this pain is all about.

Maybe I will just chill, relax, and sip some ice tea.

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